One of my favorite people in the entire world is my Benjamin. He is so often misunderstood, and I don't help that since our relationship is sometimes bipolar. He is the first miracle I was ever a witness to, and a part of. He is the thorn in my side and he is one of my very best friends. He comforts me; he'll rub my back or my shoulder and he's not afraid to cuddle his mommy.
I joke with some friends that Ben is like a great dane. To say he is big is kind of an understatement. At 5 years old, he is 47 and a half inches tall. To put that in perspective, the height marker for the 100th percentile for his age is 46 inches. We were at Chuck E. Cheese last week and Ben was taller than a 7 year old. He wears size 2 shoes. Technically, he could probably wear a size 1, but if I buy a size 1, it'll be too small in a month or so. Last week the kids made Mother's Day cards at preschool. Ben's hand print cutouts didn't fit in the envelope... everyone else's did.
So my boy is big. And I love it. But I hate it. The pediatrician told me at his 4-year check up that it would make other adults, especially, expect Ben to behave like a child of his size, so a five or six year old. See, the thing about Ben that gets me every time is his temper. My temper. The difference is that I had a 27 year head start at learning to control it. And other adults, and me, have a hard time with Ben's temper. The thing that also comes with the temper are the tantrums. And a 50 pound five year old is hard to wrestle with. But I digress. MY boy is big and beautiful.
His shortcomings are my shortcomings, so I am automatically endeared to him. We are both vulnerable in the same ways, so it's hard for me to share here some of things he struggles with, because we both do. Ben takes most everything personally. If you accidentally knock over his drink at dinner, it must have been a personal attack. I am not so sensitive, but watch out if I see you whispering to someone... I will automatically think that something dastardly is going on and that I am the victim. Ben is the same way. I love that he cares so much, but I also wish that we both could be happy being ourselves and not care what other people think. Along with being sensitive to what people do to him, Ben is sensitive on behalf of other people. He is defensive about the people he loves, and I've learned especially that means his sisters. (Though he'll only tell you he loves Lily, he is tender about his Fia too)
Benjamin is passionate. He gets discouraged when things aren't easy for him. He has more patience learning physical things. He learned to inline skate in less than a week. He runs fast, jumps high, likes scoring goals, making baskets and being the goalie. He gets sweaty. He has a killer smile, but he usually looks serious when he's playing sports. He is a natural athlete. I had to tell him that he would never be able to sign autographs if he didn't learn to write his name. We've put numbers on jerseys to help him learn.
He loves everything boyish... Nerf guns, sports, sticks, cars, monster trucks, motorcycles, robots, dinosaurs, Legos, riding his bike and scooter and building blocks. But, he also likes music, dancing, looking for shells at the beach and cooking.
I am in love with my boy. I feel more than privileged to get to help guide him and teach him even during those times when I am frustrated with him.
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